the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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