Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
