I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
