SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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