he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
