Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
