Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
