with your own penis?
I got chris browned last night
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
