Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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