That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
