The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
