Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
