The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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