just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
