I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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