Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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