sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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