Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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