I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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