last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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