dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
