i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
