so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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