Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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