Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry RMcG32 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.

Fav 4 967 1046
share tweet
(424): View more from California

I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

Fav 9 5313 1483
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

Fav 19 8347 998
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

Fav 22 4394 1770
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

Fav 16 1390 4757
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

Fav 13 4924 1181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

Fav 29 1484 6273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room

Fav 0 55 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.

Fav 0 35 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT