David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
