Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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