Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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