Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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