once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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