I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
where am i from again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
