they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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