Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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