Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
