Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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