He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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