I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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