I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
