Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
