just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
