i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
