Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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