My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bring money and cleavage
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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