im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
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