Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
