atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
