He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
