found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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