He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
