on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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