it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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