Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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