Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
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I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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