I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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