awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
too bad you live with your parents still
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
