i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!