Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?