God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....