can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
