I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.