I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize