she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
