dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
