my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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