At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
