i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
