I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
