so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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