note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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