It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
