If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize