Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
