i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
