am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
we should paint friendship bongs
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